Finding Peace in Patience: How God’s Patience Transforms Our Relationships

In a world that moves at lightning speed, patience can feel like a lost virtue. But what if patience is more than just waiting well? What if it’s about how we respond when others wrong us?

What Does the Bible Say About Patience?

The Bible actually has two different definitions for patience. One is about waiting better – that holy endurance we need when life moves slowly. But the second definition is what we’re focusing on today: macrothemia – the restraint of anger when you’ve been wronged.

This kind of patience isn’t about waiting in line or dealing with traffic. It’s about how you respond when someone hurts you, sins against you, or does you dirty. It’s choosing not to retaliate or seek revenge when you’ve been wronged.

How Many Times Should We Forgive Others?

In Matthew 18, Peter asked Jesus a question many of us have wondered: “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

Peter thought he was being generous with seven times. But Jesus’ response was shocking: “No, not seven times. Seventy times seven.”

Jesus wasn’t giving us a mathematical formula to track forgiveness (490 times and you’re done). He was showing Peter that his thinking about forgiveness wasn’t aligned with how God’s kingdom works.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

To help Peter understand, Jesus told a story about a servant who owed his master millions of dollars – a debt so large he could never repay it in his lifetime. When the servant begged for patience, the master had compassion and completely forgave the debt.

But then that same servant found someone who owed him a few thousand dollars. Instead of showing the same mercy he’d received, he had the man thrown into prison until he could pay.

When the master heard about this, he was furious. He called the servant evil and sent him to prison to be tortured until he paid his debt. Jesus concluded: “That is what my heavenly Father will do if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

Why Is God Patient With Us?

Before we can extend patience to others, we must first understand how patient God has been with us. Every one of us has sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. The debt of our sin is so great that we could never repay it ourselves.

Yet God chose to be patient with us. Instead of giving us what we deserve, He transferred our sin debt to Jesus, who paid it in full on the cross.

Romans 2:4 asks: “Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?”

How Our Patience Reveals Our Spiritual Maturity

How we deal with people who wrong us reveals our spiritual maturity. It’s easy to claim we’re spiritually mature, but our fruit determines the reality. When we’ve been forgiven so much by God, how can we turn around and refuse to forgive others?

Many of us will choose to hold people accountable for things they’ve done while hoping God remains patient with us. We discard the patience of God and devalue it while feeling completely justified in being impatient with others.

The Difference Between Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. You don’t have to re-enter every relationship with someone who has hurt you. It’s unwise to allow people who have repeatedly harmed you to have the same level of access to your life.

You don’t have to give them access just because you forgave them, but you do have to forgive them. And you need to check the motives of your heart to make sure you’re making decisions to protect the call God has on your life, not just to avoid getting hurt again.

Why Hasn’t Jesus Returned Yet?

Second Peter 3:9 tells us: “The Lord isn’t being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.”

God is being slow in returning so that everyone has the opportunity to turn and surrender their lives to Him. His patience creates space for salvation.

Life Application: Honoring God’s Patience Through Our Own

The fruit of patience grows in our lives as we deepen our understanding of how patient God has been with us. Here are some questions to reflect on this week:

• How has God been patient with you? Think about specific times when God forgave you or showed you grace when you didn’t deserve it.
• Who in your life needs your patience right now? Is there someone you’ve been holding to a standard that God doesn’t even hold you to?
• What bitterness are you carrying that’s preventing you from experiencing the fullness of God’s fruit in your life? Remember, you can’t cherry-pick which fruit of the Spirit you want – they work together.
• How might your relationships change if you viewed them through the lens of God’s patience? Consider how extending the same grace you’ve received might transform your most difficult relationships.

This week, challenge yourself to honor God’s patience with you by being patient with others. When someone wrongs you, before reacting, remember how God has forgiven your debt. Let your response reflect the grace you’ve received, not what the other person deserves.